That Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.